It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Actually, it was always the worst of times. It wasn't just that I jingled whenever I walked due to the nature of all the currency I carried on my person, nor was it the fact that I was eating the same cheap sausages for my daily meal. It wasn't even the fact that my landlord was the person I spoke to most on the phone nor was it that I only ever bought airtime in singles. All these were bad, but I think the most traumatic and horrendous circumstance I was facing was the unavailability of Netflix in my region. It was in the middle of all this that 2 Broke Twimbos was born.
2 = Too few to qualify for any bulk discounts anywhere but too many to ask for anything on the house.
Broke = Owning a very easy to manage bank account.
Twimbos = Zimbabweans on Twitter (can also refer to hooliganism inf.)
For a long time, the only solution I could think of was to become a twerk anthem rapper to get wealthy. Only problem is the crazy rapper lifestyle don't look healthy, my mental slang dictionary ain't lengthy, I'm not a fan of Chelsea and I'm too proud to get a ghostwriter to help me.
Then I took a moment to analyze the situation, hang on. Do we have any rappers genuinely balling out in Zimbabwe? Are some of our most popular rappers making, not just a living, but a killing from entertaining the masses with clever word play and offensive music videos? If Chief Keef can ball out on one hit song, surely Zimbabwe's hottest rappers with strings of hits to their names should be having pet tigers named "Dog" at tobacco-farm-sized residences in Harare's lavish Makomo aBeverly suburb?
For the sake of argument, let's work with the assumption that Zimbabwe's most popular rapper is Stunner (A fair assessment considering the hit songs on radio, the "People's Choice Award", YouTube hits, etc. Also, no one wants to get into the hip-hop vs. urban grooves debate right now).
Now I'm not saying Stunner is broke, (au contraire, ari bhoo tsano) but let's be real. He's not exactly chartering his own planes or filling up his shark tank with ZLG mineral water. In fact, I bet he wouldn't mind at all to feature on this Top 10 Poorest Rappers list.
Even African rappers right now are raking in "don't-have-to-rent-it-for-the-music-video" money. Rumor has it that rapper Sarkodie from Ghana is worth anything up to US $10 million, Ice Prince from Nigeria is raking in similar numbers and while there are no official reports on other acts such as South Africa's AKA or Khuli Chana, they seem to be living the rapper lifestyles that only long money and short inhibitions can support.
Perhaps there's something that needs to be fixed in the Zimbabwean music industry?
Anyways, 2 Broke Twimbos is here, and we'll be doing our part bringing you the best of Zimbabwean entertainers, Enjoy.